“To get what you want, you have to deserve what you want. The world is not yet a crazy enough place to reward a whole bunch of undeserving people.”
― Charles T. Munger
Become a Chooser
Become a chooser and deserve what you want in life, including in your romantic relationships.
Your most fundamental need in life is survival.
Your next “need” is procreation.
Hence, romantic relationships are a natural part of life.
There are many beautiful women who you’re compatible with.
Because of your drive to procreate, you’re hardwired to mate with as many women as possible.
By doing so, you increase the likelihood of your genes being passed along.
This links back to your tribal times as it’s stated in the book Sex At Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá.
But just because you’re hardwired to be with many women doesn’t mean you can’t choose to be with just one.
You always have the choice to choose your way of thinking.
You don’t have to live life according to anyone’s expectation.
Just because it’s considered “normal” by society, it doesn’t make it right or wrong.
You’re the only person who can decide the validity of anything.
If you choose to be polygamous and want to be with multiple women, then do that.
But if you want to be loyal and faithful to just one woman, then you’re free to do that as well.
This type of thinking applies to every area of your life.
As long as your intentions are manifestations of love and compassion, then your thoughts and actions can do no harm.
If you choose to be polygamous, then communicate that effectively to all the women that you’re dating.
Let them know exactly what they’re getting into and it’s entirely up to them what they decide to do.
Those women who are open to the idea will stay and those who aren’t will leave.
Take Full Responsibility
To become a man women want you must work on yourself to unleash your fullest potential.
It starts by taking full responsibility for your life and it’s one of the most difficult things you will ever have to do.
Because you only have one life, you only have to do it once.
Your resistance towards taking responsibility will cause to you to blame everything and everyone for your failures and lack of success.
But the true blame is the person staring you in the mirror.
You’re the reason for all your “failures” and “successes” in life.
You’re the cause of all the problems in your life.
Fortunately, you’re also the solution to all your life’s problems.
It starts by taking responsibility for your actions.
Understand that you’re already good enough at this point.
You already have everything that you’ll ever need to succeed and to be happy.
If you can truly accept who you are now, then you can start to improve yourself coming from a place of love.
Having that mindset, you choose to be better so you can be more powerful and effective in the world.
Create A Vision
Write down values, qualities or attributes that you want in an ideal woman.
To give you an example, here are some values that I look for in a woman.
- Continuous Growth
Once you have your list, rank them in the order of importance from one to ten with ten being the most important.
This is your deal maker list.
It’s equally as important to list out your deal breakers.
Because I want a woman who values her health, I wouldn’t want a woman who smokes.
Secondary criteria include your lifestyle compatibilities such as views in marriage, children, and locations to live.
These are important topics to discuss and align in the early stages of the dating process before you fully invest in her.
Now that you have defined your dream woman, here comes the most difficult part.
You must become the person that embody all those values, traits or attributes.
You may ask “why?” and the answer is simple.
There’s no way a woman who has all those values, qualities or attributes that you listed would want to be with a man who doesn’t have similar values, qualities or attributes.
You must be a high-quality man to attract and keep a high-quality woman.
Notice I said keep as well.
You may use gimmicky tricks or fancy gadgets to attract the woman.
Sooner or later, the high-value woman is going to know your true character.
Those women who you do attract with money aren’t the ones you want to be with.
You may want to be with them because of their goddess-like physical features.
But that will fade over time and you won’t be interested in them because of your lack of emotional connection with them.
It’s best not to invest time in those type of women.
But to attract and keep high-quality women who you’re compatible with, it ultimately comes down to your authentic character.
Of the values, qualities or attributes that you have written down, put next to them a score of one to ten with ten being the highest – meaning you’re completely in love with it and there’s no room for improvement.
Be 100% honest with yourself because this is only for your eyes.
No one is going to see it unless you choose to share it.
Create An Action Plan
Now that you have a vision of what you want in a woman, it’s time to create an action plan to become the man that she wants.
How will you become that person with all the value, qualities, or attributes that you have created for yourself?
What specific action steps do you have to take to become that person?
Get realistic, specific and start small, that way you will build momentum and confidence as your progress.
For example, if you want to improve your humor, then identify what type of humor you like.
Then surround yourself with more of those type of humor by watching videos, listening to audios, or reading books on that topic.
After consuming the appropriate knowledge, you must go out and practice implementing what you have learned with family members, friends or complete strangers.
Regardless of what skill you’re working on, appreciate the small wins because over time they add up to big victories.
If your strategy isn’t working, then you must listen to its feedback and adjust accordingly.
A solid strategy is to consistently work on yourself while you go out and meet people, especially women.
As a man, you must take the lead and initiate every interaction with women.
Put yourself out there and talk to anyone and everyone so that it becomes a habit for you to meet new people daily.
After building a strong rapport with new friends, exchange contact information so you can invite them to future events.
Use your events as a filtering process to select high-quality men and women into your life.
Be consistent with it and eventually you’ll have an abundant social circle with both high-quality men and women.
Because high-quality people tend to have high-quality friends, you can use it as a method to meet high-quality women.
During this arduous journey, you will face many inevitable “failures” and “rejections.”
But never give up because this is all part of it.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help from close friends and mentors because they want to help you succeed.
Understand that those struggles are there to challenge you and make you stronger.
They’re there to make your story deeper and more powerful, so embrace all the obstacles, hardships, and adversities.
One day you’ll look back and be thankful for them.
Because without them, you wouldn’t be where you will be then.
Don’t Ever Settle
You know you’re settling when you compromise any of the values, qualities, or attributes on your deal maker list.
When you settle in your romantic relationship, you and your woman both suffer.
That’s because deep down, you believe you want someone better.
As a result, you won’t be able to fully give yourself to her.
Apathetic about your woman, you eventually will seek excitement elsewhere.
This might even result in having affairs with other women.
Your woman deserves your best.
Not being able to give that to her, you’re “cheating” her chance of being with a man who can.
This isn’t fair to her and to you.
Both of you deserve someone who truly thinks you’re the best person in the world for them.
Both of you win when you both want and deserve each other.
It’s much better to be alone than to be with the wrong woman.
With constant external pressure from parents, friends, and society, you’re extremely tempted give in and settle.
But the price that you pay is an unhappy life with the wrong woman.
Do you truly want that?
Is it worth all the trouble and hassle of settling which will result in inevitable unhappiness and possible divorce?
I get it, the fear of being alone forever is real.
But that’s why you must start your life-transformation journey now!
Put in the work now so you can bear the fruits later.
Nothing meaningful will come easy in life because you’re not entitled to anything.
Soon you’ll realize that you’re your only source of happiness and the woman can only enhance it and not the cause of it.
Believe in yourself and become the man women want.
Your dream woman is out there improving on herself and she’s can’t wait to meet you.
She won’t show up until you’re ready.
But one day when you’re both ready, your paths will cross.
So keep going, never give up!
Please share this article with anyone who you think may find it valuable.
If you have any questions and/or comments on deserving what you want, please leave a comment below or send me an email.
Want to become a stronger version of yourself?
Start here with your gift!