“I never listen to what a person says. I look at what a person does because what they do tells me who they really are.”
― Patty Houser
Live With Integrity
Do you live with integrity by saying what you mean and mean what you say?
Often times, I meet people who don’t follow through with their words.
They say what I want to hear, but never follow through with action.
This is a common theme with some of my acquaintances.
To my advantage, I use it as a way to filter out incompatible people from my life.
Taking my time seriously, I eliminate interaction with people who don’t respect my time.
This also applies to friends who I have known from the past.
To keep a healthy connection with everyone in my network, I regularly reach out to them.
After receiving my personal message, most of the people in my network respond positively that results in a meaningful conversation.
Some even acknowledge and appreciate my time and effort to reconnect.
But unfortunately, there are some people who are unresponsive.
Despite not responding, they still have my benefit of the doubt.
However, if they still don’t respond after I have reached out for the second time, then I can confidently remove them from my life because we’re no longer compatible.
There could be many reasons for losing compatibility, but the reason is irrelevant because I’m no longer a priority in their life.
Hence, I permanently delete their contact information from my network database.
There’s no point in keeping them if I don’t ever plan to contact those people.
This might be heartless but it’s simply a sign of self-respect because I truly don’t have time for people who don’t have time for me.
Regardless of what they might say, I trust their actions, not their words.
There’s no right or wrong when it comes to relationships; it’s just a matter of compatibility and priorities.
This is true for both platonic and romantic relationships.
Because a relationship takes two people to tangle, both parties must put in the time and effort to make it work.
Therefore, I value and treasure those who reach out and commit their words with action.
Actions Depict Priorities
You and everyone in this world have twenty hours in a day, no more and no less.
What you do with your time is entirely up to you.
Hopefully, you’re using one-third of it for sleep.
How you spend your remaining time depicts your priorities in life.
Because your job is important, you spend most of your day working because it brings you money.
Besides buying basic survival needs, money allows you to buy luxurious goods.
Therefore, you make time for your job.
Your time spent outside of work depicts your other life’s priorities.
How are you spending them?
Everything that you do clearly dictates their importance in your life.
If health is important to you, then you will invest in your health by exercising or eating healthy food.
If your relationships are important to you, then you will invest time in those who you care about.
If your job is important to you, then you will spend more time at work.
Your actions always speak your highest priorities.
Trust Actions Not Words
Inevitably, you will meet people who will say what you want to hear but never follow their words with action.
This is common because they want to be “nice” to avoid the risk of angering you.
They would rather lie to you than to tell you the truth because they don’t want conflict.
After falling through with their plans, they always have the option to create an excuse such as “I was too busy and forgot.”
Believing in giving others a second chance, you maintain hope and trust in them.
However, after failing to back up their words for the second time, they’re now highly untrustworthy and unreliable.
Having self-respect, you can make a conscious decision of whether or to remove those people from your life.
If they are stating their truth, then you can provide exceptions.
But more often times than not, their reasons are pure excuses and the fact is that they didn’t follow through.
Just like them, you also have challenges.
Regardless, you make time for the activities and people who are important to you.
Therefore, don’t trust their words, instead trust in their actions.
In the case of replying to a simple message (assuming they’ve read it), if they don’t even have time to do that, then how important do you think you are to them?
Do you want to reciprocate to that kind of relationship?
Although forgetting to reply to you the moment after reading your message with their “busyness,” they will eventually respond if they truly care about you.
Because sending messages works both ways, you don’t have to always start the conversation.
If you’re an important part of their life, then they will also want to start a conversation with you.
That’s when you know the relationship is mutually valued.
For those who don’t appreciate your value and time, respect yourself enough to filter them out from your life.
Don’t treat them as a priority when they only treat you as an option.
The feeling of filtering out people in your life is difficult because you’re afraid of being lonely.
But it’s much better to have a small circle of close friends than to have a large circle of acquaintances.
When it comes to relationships, quality beats quantity.
After removing the incompatible people from your life, you will have more time to connect deeper with others by creating meaningful relationships.
Understand that not everyone you meet is meant to stay in your life.
Throughout your journey of filtering out people, you’ll learn to appreciate those who live with integrity by adding true value in your life.
To further grow those relationships, you must invest time and effort into those people because they’ll be there for you during your brightest and darkest times.
Your time is finite and your actions depict your life’s priorities.
That’s why you do what you do.
This is your awakening for identifying the important people in your life.
Don’t take them for granted because they won’t be with you forever.
If you truly value them, then appreciate them through action, not with just mere words.
For those who don’t reciprocate your level of importance towards them, it’s time to make a conscious decision about your future interactions with those people.
The decision isn’t easy, but if you truly love yourself, then you would remove them from your life without hesitation.
By removing those who don’t value you, you can start focusing on those who do.
To attract like-minded people into your life, you must stay true to yourself by not compromising your values and beliefs.
Persistently going out and socialize, you’ll eventually create an abundant circle of people who truly value you and vice versa.
Please share this article with anyone who you think may find it valuable.
If you have any questions and/or comments on living with integrity, please leave a comment below or send me an email.
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