“The first step to being more attractive is to see rejection as a means to eliminate women who won’t make you happy from your life. It’s a blessing, not a curse.”
― Mark Manson
Identify Clearly What You Want In A Woman
There are an abundant amount of beautiful and attractive women everywhere, especially in metropolitan cities. However, my chances of being compatible with one of them are low.
Reasons for our incompatibility may include:
- She’s out of my desired age range.
- The woman is either married or in a relationship.
- She is not my type based on personal preference (ethnicity, religious views, etc.).
In addition to those criteria, I also look for similarity in beliefs.
Getting to know myself better over the years (identifying my core values), I clearly know what I want in the opposite sex.
I desire someone who shares similar core values as I do.
She doesn’t have to enjoy the same hobbies. I want her to have her own activities. In addition, I would like her to have her group of close female friends: where she can freely express her femininity.
Understanding my desires, I focus on activities that help me shape into the man I ultimately aspire to be.
By taking care of my health, generating a steady income, building a loving social circle of family and friends, I create a vibrant lifestyle filled with fun interests.
Activities that excite me include:
- Health & fitness
- Going to the gym
- Rock climbing
- Going to the farmers markets
- Attending classes
- Dance lessons (salsa, ballroom, etc.)
- Spin class (cycling)
- Fun hobbies
- Bookstores & libraries
- Musical concerts
- Sporting events
- Personal growth events
- Personal development seminars
- Meditation retreats
By doing these things, I naturally meet other women who are also into those interests.
Encountering them becomes a byproduct of my lifestyle. I don’t have to go out of “my way” just to meet women. But with that said, it’s still my responsibility to make the first move by starting a conversation with her.
Only by getting to know her and vice versa can we identify our compatibility with each other. I give myself the best chance to meet other like-minded women by investing in events that exhilarate me.
Be Authentic and Attract Her Through Your Best Self
When you are true to yourself at the deepest level, you will inevitably attract men and women who are similar to you. Women are especially more intuitive at this because they are more emotional than we are.
You can try your best to “fake” the person you want her to believe you are. But sooner than later, she will know. After seeing through your disguise, she’ll feel cheated and lied to.
Then instead of putting up a front, you just be your genuine self from the start.
This means when interacting with women, you are the same man with the same set of values when you are with your parents, friends, colleagues, and so forth. Your behaviors might differ slightly depending on the situation. But your core beliefs are always intact and never compromised to please the woman.
No matter what stage of life you are in, there’s a woman out there who loves and adores you.
The problem: you just haven’t met her yet.
In order to meet her, you must become a man of true value, separating you from every man who she meets.
After accepting what you can’t change and focus on what you can improve, you’ll start to unleash your fullest potential. In the process, you’ll start meeting high-quality women who you will have deep connections with.
As a result, both of you will increase your already enormous levels of happiness exponentially.
Create a Vibrant Lifestyle and Attract Your Ideal Woman Naturally
To attract the women of your dreams, you don’t focus on her. You focus on yourself.
Yes. This is counterintuitive, but let me explain.
When you work on yourself by building an abundant social life, you will attract others who want to join you. This includes both men and women.
You are the adventure that they want to be part of.
Have you been to an amusement park and saw the coolest roller coaster ride there? Because of its popularity, people are willing to patiently wait in line.
You want to be that thrilling roller coaster. When a woman sees you, you capture her attention by being a self-sufficient and self-amused man. She is curious about you and subconsciously asks herself:
- “What causes to him to be in a positive mood?”
- “How can I get to know him?”
- “Why is he different from other men?”
She wants to be immersed in your fun world. You’re the prize that she wants to win.
It’s your responsibility to be the life of your own party. You can’t expect her to create joy for you.
But before having a healthy relationship with another woman, you must have a loving relationship with yourself. This translates to acknowledging others’ opinions, but not letting them affect your behaviors.
In the case of attracting other women, you’re independent of her reactions: you already have an amazing lifestyle with loving family, friends, and activities.
It’ll be great if she joins you on your adventure. But your happiness doesn’t depend on her decision. That’s because deep down, you’re already fulfilled with or without her. In addition, you know there are plenty of beautiful women out there who would love to be with you.
To your existing vibrant lifestyle, the woman is a mere bonus.
“Rejection” Doesn’t Exist: It’s Simply a Filtering Process
Whether it’s romantic or platonic relationships, it takes two whole people to make the connection work. When either party doesn’t feel the same level of desire to keep the relationship going. It will eventually die.
After having developed a romantic interest in a woman, you can state your truth and express your honest feelings for her.
The worst thing she can say is “no.” Yes, you might be hurt for a few hours, days, or even weeks. But that sharp painful feeling will ultimately fade away.
There could be a million reasons why she denied your intentions. But her exact reason is irrelevant. Make peace and respect her decision.
It’s simply part of the filtering process. Thanks to her response, you now know she is not compatible with you. As a result, you can focus your time on finding someone else.
By going after what you want and putting yourself out there, you’re showing vulnerability: the risk of getting hurt.
That’s the pinnacle of true masculinity.
You’re showing courage by showing exposure to possible attacks and criticism. In this case, you’re open to getting “rejected.”
That’s extremely attractive.
If she is romantically interested in you, she would want you to ask her out!
It’s your responsibility to step up and perform your masculine role. By doing so, you make her feminine feel comfortable knowing you can lead the interaction, and potentially the relationship.
As a confident man, you must initiate the courtship. If she had asked you out instead, you might be slightly turned off. That’s because the roles of masculinity and femininity are reversed. You might like it when the woman expresses her feelings first, but deep down, that’s not what you truly desire.
As a man, you want to make the first move.
As a man, you want to have a woman who you can share your life with. I get it.
I get it.
But for you to attract and keep her, you must first be in love with your own world.
Start by investing in yourself. Perhaps you can try new activities such as playing the guitar or learning how to ballroom dance. The opportunities are endless.
After establishing a vibrant lifestyle filled with loving friends and exciting hobbies, you will naturally attract high-quality women into your life. By going out and doing things you enjoy, you effortlessly meet other like-minded women.
It might take some time to find a woman who you connect with on a deep level. But you understand what is valuable does not come easily.
Eventually, you’ll meet her and both of you will be excited to have each other.
But regardless if she is in your life or not, you continue to live out your purpose and become the best man who you can be.
Please share this article with anyone who you think may find it valuable.
If you have any questions and/or comments on attracting your dream woman, please leave a comment below or send me an email.
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