“The first step to being more attractive is to see rejection as a means to eliminate women who won’t make you happy from your life. It’s a blessing, not a curse.”
― Mark Manson
Identify Clearly What You Want in a Woman
There are an abundant amount of beautiful and attractive women everywhere, especially in metropolitan cities. However, my chances of finding a good match are low.
Reasons for our incompatibility may include:
She’s out of my desired age range.
The woman is either married or in a relationship.
She is not my type based on personal preference (ethnicity, religious views, etc.).
In addition to those criteria, I also look for similarity in beliefs.
After understanding myself better over the years (identifying my core values), I clearly know what I want in a woman.
I desire someone who shares similar core values as I do.
She doesn’t need to enjoy the same hobbies because I want her to possess her own activities. In addition, I would like her to have her group of close female friends where she can freely express her femininity.
Realizing my desires, I focus on pursuits that shape me into the man I aspire to be.
By taking care of my health, generating a steady income, building a loving social circle of family and friends, I create a vibrant lifestyle filled with fun interests.
Activities that excite me include:
Health & fitness
Going to the gym
Shopping at the farmers markets
Dance lessons (salsa, ballroom, etc.)
Bookstores & libraries
Personal growth events
Personal development seminars
By doing these things, I naturally meet other women who also have those recreations.
Encountering them becomes a byproduct of my lifestyle. I don’t have to go out of my way to do so. But with that said, it’s still my responsibility to make the first move by starting a conversation with her.
Only by getting to know her and vice versa can we identify our compatibility with each other. By living this way, I give myself the best chance to meet wholesome women by investing in events that exhilarate me.
Be Authentic and Attract Her Through Your Best Self
When you are true to yourself at the deepest level, you will inevitably attract men and women who are similar to you. This is especially true for women because they are more emotional than we are.
You can try faking your way into making her believe who you’re not. But sooner or later, she will know. After seeing through your disguise, she’ll feel cheated and lied to.
Therefore, instead of putting up a front, be your genuine self from the start.
This means being a man of values regardless of who you’re interacting with. Your behaviors might differ slightly depending on the situation. But your core beliefs are always intact and never compromised to please anyone, especially around women.
No matter where you are in life, there’s a woman out there who loves and adores you.
The problem: you just haven’t met her yet.
But to do so, you must become a man of character, separating you from every man she meets.
After accepting what you can’t change and focus on the areas you can improve, you’ll start to unleash your full potential. In the process, you’ll start meeting high-quality women who you will have deep connections with.
This can lead to an increase in both of your level of happiness.
Create a Vibrant Lifestyle and Attract Your Ideal Woman Naturally
To attract the woman of your dreams, you must first focus on yourself.
Yes. This is counterintuitive, but let me explain.
When you work on yourself by building an abundant social life, you will attract others who want to join you. This includes both men and women.
You are the adventure they want to be part of.
Have you been to an amusement park and saw the coolest roller coaster ride there?
Because of its popularity, people are willing to wait in line.
You want to be that thrilling attraction. When a woman sees you, you capture her attention by being an autonomous and self-amused man. She gets curious and subconsciously asks herself:
“What causes to him to be in a positive mood?”
“How can I get to know him?”
“Why is he different from other men?”
She wants to be immersed in your fun world. You’re the prize she wants to win.
It’s your responsibility to be the life of your own party. You can’t expect her to create joy for you.
But before having a healthy relationship with another woman, you must have a loving connection with yourself. This translates to accepting all of who you are now, both the positive and negative. In addition, you unconditionally value yourself regardless of what others might think of you.
In the case of attracting other women, you’re independent of her reactions. That’s because you already have an amazing lifestyle with loving family members, friends, and activities.
It’ll be great if she joins you on your adventure. But your happiness doesn’t depend on her decision. Since deep down, you’re already fulfilled with or without her. Furthermore, you know there are plenty of beautiful women out there who would love to be with you.
To your existing vibrant life, the woman is a mere bonus.
“Rejection” Doesn’t Exist: It’s Simply a Filtering Process
Whether it’s romantic or platonic relationships, it takes two whole people to make any connection work. When either party doesn’t feel the same level of desire to keep the relationship going. It will eventually die.
After having developed a romantic interest in a woman, you can state your truth and express your honest feelings for her.
The worst thing she can say is “no.” Yes, you might be hurt for a few hours, days, or even weeks. But that sharp painful feeling will ultimately fade away.
There could be a million reasons why she denied your intentions. But her exact rationale is irrelevant. Make peace and respect her decision.
It’s simply part of the filtering process. Thanks to her response, you now know she is not compatible with you. As a result, you can focus your time on finding someone else.
By going after what you want and putting yourself out there, you’re showing vulnerability – the risk of getting hurt.
That’s the pinnacle of true masculinity.
You’re showing courage by demonstrating exposure to possible attacks and criticism. In this case, you’re open to getting “rejected.”
That’s extremely attractive.
If she is romantically interested in you, she would want you to ask her out!
It’s your responsibility to take on the masculine role. By doing so, you make her feminine feel comfortable knowing you can lead the interaction, and potentially the relationship.
As a strong, mature, and confident man, you must initiate the courtship. If she had asked you out instead, you might be slightly turned off. That’s because the roles of masculinity and femininity are reversed. You might like it when the woman expresses her feelings first, but deep down, that’s not what you truly desire.
As a man, you want to make the first move.
You want to have a woman who you can share your life with. That’s completely normal and understandable.
But for you to attract and keep her, you must first be in love with your own world.
Would you date yourself?
Start by investing in yourself. Perhaps you can try new activities such as learning the following:
Playing the guitar
After establishing a vibrant lifestyle filled with loving friends and exciting hobbies, you will naturally attract gorgeous and wholesome women into your life. By going out and doing things you enjoy, you effortlessly meet them.
It might take some time to find a woman who you connect with on a deep level. But you understand what is valuable does not come easily.
Eventually, you’ll meet her and both of you will be excited and ready to have each other.
But regardless if she is in your life or not, you continue to live out your purpose and become your best.
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