“Your network is your net worth.”
― Tim Sanders
The Layers of Social Network
Valuing relationships, I always invest time in further deepening my existing my connections.
To expand my network, I’m constantly meeting new people.
In addition, I’m always evaluating my current relationships and filter in the “right” people – those who believe in me and lift me higher. In the process, I weed out the “wrong” people – others who drain my energy and bring me down.
As a result, I will have created relationships by design, not by default.
Here are the three layers of my social circle.
- They include my family members (parents, brothers, etc.).
- These are people who I’m born with. I do not have a choice in picking who they are. But fortunately, I have learned to love them, no matter how stubborn and annoying they can be at times.
- My significant other and close friends belong in this group.
- Although I treat them like family, they are here because I can consciously select these people.
- This last layer includes my mentors, friends, clients, and colleagues.
- On average, I see these people about once a week.
Because everyone in my three layers of social circle plays a huge part in my life. I intentionally choose who these people are.
Selecting the “Right” People
To decide if they are “right” for you, here are some questions to ask yourself:
“Am I excited to be with this person?”
“Does this individual add to my life?”
“Is this person genuinely nice to me?”
If you’ve answered “no” to any of the above questions, it’s time to examine your relationship with them.
You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Don’t waste time with those don’t reciprocate your generosity.
By not spending time with the “wrong” people, you’ll have more to spend with the “right” people. In addition, you can use that extra time to focus on yourself. You can invest in your personal growth and engage in your favorite hobbies.
When you choose to be with people who lift you up, you automatically filter out those who drag you down.
Nourish Your Existing Connections
After selecting those who lift me up, I dedicate time to strengthen those relationships.
To deepen my current connections, I spend quality time with them. Activities include:
- Rock climbing
- Or simply meeting up and having meaningful conversations.
To show those who are especially important to me, I pay them a gratitude visit. This involves me reading a handwritten letter to them in person. As a result, they feel extremely appreciated and loved.
Although you can add value to others through electronic communication, however, the most powerful way to bolster any relationship is through face-to-face interactions.
Because we are social creatures, we are hardwired to connect with others.
We can only truly do that in person.
You can nurture your existing relationships by spending quality time with others. This may include activities you both enjoy. Ask yourself:
“What hobbies do my friends enjoy?”
“What interests does this person have?”
To eliminate any doubt, you can always ask the other person.
By engaging in events that they enjoy (hopefully you do too), you will further develop those relationships.
My time is my most valuable asset.
That’s because once I spend it, I will never get it back. Hence, I choose wisely what I do with my time and whom I spend my time with. No matter what I do, there’s always an opportunity cost associated with it.
The same goes for relationships.
Instead of spending time with one person, I could be investing it in someone else. That’s why I only strengthen my relationships with those I like and trust.
As for romantic relationships, I would rather be by myself than to be with the wrong person, no matter how scary and lonely it may be.
Deep down, I know what I want (and deserve). I will not settle for anything less.
I’ve learned that not everyone will like me. But those who do, they love me! Everyone in my social circle has helped shape me into who I am today.
What about you?
- Are you spending enough time with those who are most important to you?
- Are you surrounding yourself with people who are you lifting you up?
- Or worse, are you settling in your relationships?
Stop focusing on those who don’t add value to you. Instead, concentrate on people who do. Others who truly like you will stay in your life.
It takes two whole people to make any relationship work. Both parties must contribute by investing time and effort.
There’s no forcing it.
If it doesn’t work out, it’s just a matter of compatibility. There’s no right or wrong.
However, the people who genuinely care about you will dedicate time and energy.
Their actions always speak louder than their words. Believe in what they do, not what they say.
The truth is this:
You already have uplifting relationships worth investing.
Take a closer look at your current circle of influence. Those connections range from your parents to your former colleagues.
Start investing in them now, and watch your life explode with more happiness.
Please share this article with anyone who you think may find it valuable.
If you have any questions and/or comments on investing in the “right” relationships, please leave a comment below or send me an email.
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