“If you want to have more, you have to become more. For things to change, you have to change. For things to get better, you have to become better. If you improve, everything will improve for you. If you grow, your money will grow; your relationships, your health, your business and every external effect will mirror that growth in equal correlation.”
― Jim Rohn
Are you living an average life by playing it “safe?”
Do you want more out of life?
Do you lack a strong sense of purpose?
As I look at my network of friends, I see a plethora of medical doctors, scientists, lawyers, and engineers. For some, they are living their dream. But for others, that may not be the case.
It definitely wasn’t for me.
Although everything looked great on the surface as I worked as a chemical engineer for a great company and had the following:
A high-paying salary
An amazing social circle with loving family and caring friends
A comfortable place
An abundant dating life
A fancy car
But despite having everything I was “supposed” to have, I lacked something. At the time, I didn’t know what “that” was. With a deep sense of emptiness, I challenged myself with polarizing questions.
“Is this all there is to life?”
“What is my reason for being here?”
“What do I want to be remembered for after I die?”
After examining my life, I realized this important discovery:
I was following a path that is carved for me by my parents and society.
By conforming to others’ terms, I did the following:
I was playing it “safe” by not breaking any rules.
I was obedient to my parents being afraid of upsetting them.
I had to be “successful” based on society’s definition.
But the reality was this:
I was wasting my life living someone else’s dream.
What I deeply desired was to live my ideal life.
After making a decision and courageously going after what I want, I am now experiencing it. I started helping other men find their life’s purpose and become their best.
It was not easy for my parents to accept the abrupt change in life’s direction. But with time and a deep understanding of my source for meaning, they completely supported it.
The same went for my real friends. They all wanted me to experience life fully and live without regrets.
Ever since then, my life has been changed dramatically for the better. Because I am contributing to a worthwhile cause, I am excited to wake up every morning. Everywhere I go, I am grounded in my purpose. As a result, I enjoy more fulfillment and satisfaction.
But sadly, that’s not true for most men in modern society. Often times, they’re wandering around with a sad face “chasing” something.
That elusive “thing” may include:
The perfect job
An attractive partner
A big house
The fancy car
A certain amount of money
In efforts to achieve their desires, they sacrifice their lives for it. As a result, they compromise their health, relationships, and even their sanity.
Look at some of these disturbing statistics:
With all these demanding challenges, men need more help than ever. This may be counterintuitive, but asking for support does not make you weak.
It’s quite the opposite.
By portraying vulnerability, you are showing your true self. That’s because no one is ever “perfect.” It’s this human part of you which makes you trustworthy and relatable. Therefore, it’s normal to seek out for assistance.
Look at all the best professional athletes in the world.
Michael Jordan wouldn’t have become one of the most skilled basketball players in the world without the guidance of Phil Jackson.
Joe Montana wouldn’t have won four Super Bowls without the help of Bill Walsh.
Michael Phelps wouldn’t have been the most decorated Olympic swimmers without the support of Bob Bowman.
The same goes for you!
To get to the next level, you must have someone who understands your unique problems and can offer solutions. That’s where personalized coaching comes in.
Having a mentor by your side will accelerate your growth and get you from where you are today, to where you want to be.
He will give you crystal clear clarity and help you identify what is truly important to you. In addition, he will hold you accountable to the goals that are aligned with your values. You will achieve more success (however you define it) than you have ever before.
To experience greatness in all areas of your life, you must invest in coaching.
Here are ten reasons why you should hire an empowering men’s coach.
1. You Are Living a Scripted Life Written By Your Parents and Society
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
― Mark Twain
“Am I living a life that is true to me?”
All your life, you’ve been told how to live your life. You wake up, go to school, study, and get good grades. In addition to formal education, you may also have many extracurricular activities at night and on the weekends.
Everything you have worked up to this point is to get that job, which generates the money you need to live the “good” life.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with having luxurious things and living a comfortable life. But is that the life that you want?
Are you genuinely happy and fulfilled?
How do you want to spend the rest of your life?
What do you want to be remembered for after you die?
Deep down, you know what you truly want. You are simply afraid of confronting it and courageously live it.
Regardless of your fear, understand these facts:
You have the power to write your own movie script.
You are the protagonist in your life story.
You are the emperor of your own kingdom.
Ultimately, how you choose to live your life is entirely up to you.
A men’s coach can help you discover your deepest truth. As a result, you can start living your definition of a meaningful life.
2. You Live in Fear and Are Afraid to Step Outside of Social Norm
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.”
― Lao Tzu
Beneath the multiple layers, you know you want to do more with your life. But yet, you’re scared to take the first step.
You’re afraid of being judged by others. They can include the following:
That’s because you don’t want to seen as an outcast.
Understand that it’s normal.
But you must examine all the great leaders from the past and present.
Which innovators did not make a bold move?
Historical figures such as Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Ghandi, and John F. Kennedy all took a stand on something they truly believed was worthwhile.
They all carved their own unique paths despite fear. They knew the risks involved and the possible outcomes, yet they still stayed grounded in their beliefs and acted courageously.
Because of their brave behaviors, they created something of significance. During the entire process, they all trusted in themselves.
Whatever fear you may have, realize that it is there to protect you. It’s hardwired in your brain through million years of human evolution.
When you analyze your fears realistically and intelligently, you can create solutions to deal with the many potential problems.
For example, if you’re fearful of going up to that beautiful woman and starting a conversation, think of the worst thing that can happen. Unless you lack social intelligence and are an indecent man (which you I know you aren’t), you won’t get slapped on the face.
If she ignores you or shows disinterest, you respectfully accept her response and go on with your day.
The pain from potential rejection is only projected in your brain. The anticipated outcome becomes reality because you have made it true.
A men’s coach can help you cut through the excuses and delusions you have created for yourself. He can provide you the positive perspective which you have not realized before.
3. You Lack a Strong Sense of Purpose
“Those who have a “why” to live, can bear with almost any “how”.”
― Viktor Frankl
You don’t know your “why” for being here. Easily persuaded by others’ thoughts and opinions, you are a leaf in the wind blown from one place to another. You’re following the trend and are chasing the most current shiny object.
You lack a strong self-developed belief system.
Growing up through childhood and adolescence, you have absorbed beliefs through society (parents, friends, and teachers). The beliefs are engraved so deep that you think those ideologies are self-made and the only life philosophies.
You continue to live your “dream life” others have formulated for you.
But one day, this kind of lifestyle no longer works. You come to a complete stop wondering what you have been doing with your life.
Lacking fulfillment, happiness, and the drive to continue your previous path, you seek out distractions and the various forms of instant gratification. This may include the excessive use of the following:
Porn and masturbation
Having meaningless sexual encounters
All these activities numb you temporarily as they allow you to escape from reality. This momentary satisfaction can only keep you away from your true cause of misery for so long.
Eventually, you’ll have to face life.
With the support of a men’s coach, you will start the process of self-discovery. Slowly but surely, you’ll learn more about yourself and establish your core values.
These are the foundational principles which you will live your life by.
As you dive deeper into your journey, you’ll find your intuitive life’s purpose and eventually your deepest reason for being here. As a result, you will be grounded in your own principles like a mountain.
You’ll come alive because you have a strong drive for living.
4. You Don’t Have Someone Who Deeply Understands You in Your Life
“The good life is built with good relationships.”
― Robert Waldinger
You feel alone because you think you’re traveling the journey by yourself. All your friends are still zombified living someone’s else dream.
When you do spend time with them, they don’t get you. They either cannot or do not want to relate to the challenges you’re facing. Their proposed solution is to get drunk at the bar.
Although your friends care about you, most of them are clueless when it comes to truly helping you.
Even if they do know the cause and solution, they won’t tell you the brutal truth you must hear because they’re afraid of damaging your friendship. In worst cases, they want you to stay in misery so you can “settle” just as they have.
Are those the type of people you want to spend time with?
Aren’t real friends supposed to have your best interest at heart and help you solve problems?
Shouldn’t they have the power and privilege to tell you what you desperately need to know?
That’s because you as a true friend would do the same for your friends.
Now with a men’s coach, he will tell you things you need to hear rather than those you want to hear. His job is not to be your friend although he can be.
His ultimate priority is to help you get results and become who you want to be.
The things he says will polarize and challenge you.
At times, you’ll hate what he conveys on the surface level. But at the core, you’ll appreciate and respect him because he sees through your self-imposed reasons.
5. You Lack True Masculinity
“Man is nothing else, but what he makes of himself.”
― Jean Paul Sartre
You have been taught to be obedient 100% of your life. Because by doing so, you’ll have a joyful and problem-free life.
How is that working out for you?
It’s not inherently negative to be nice and obliged to others’ requests.
But it can be a problem when it goes against your highest desires. Internally, you feel distraught about carrying out the task. You feel forced as it doesn’t come from an authentic place.
Your submissive behavior doesn’t make you truly happy inside. By always being compliant, you train others around you to treat you that way.
You lack a strong foundation for self-respect and self-love.
When you dedicate energy to constantly meeting others’ demands, you rarely have time for yourself. You don’t take the time to fulfill your own wants and needs.
Then there’s the other end of the spectrum when you become obnoxious and think you’re better than everyone else.
You put on a mask to hide your true self. You pretend to be “tough” and “macho” so no one will mess with you.
Because of your façade, others are afraid of you. And as a result, they won’t like you or can relate to you.
If that doesn’t portray masculinity, then what does?
True masculinity is about having a well-balanced of the following traits:
Vulnerability (most important)
Having a men’s coach by your side, you’ll learn to put yourself first.
By having self-care, you become more invigorated and excited because you have met your desires.
You’ll identify and do those activities which will give you more vitality and zest. You’ll start saying “yes” to engagements you enjoy doing and people whom you like spending time with. By doing so, you’re removing things that don’t serve you and those who drain your energy.
As a result, you can become truly selfless and give to others without any attachment.
In addition, you’ll learn to open up and present your real self. By doing so, you give others the opportunity to connect with you.
Through sharing your challenges with people, you gain their trust because you’re showing them your flaws and struggles. This will increase your likeability and trust with everyone you come in contact with.
In return, you’ll create more meaningful and loving relationships.
6. You Always Get Friend-Zoned by Women You Like
“By trying to please everyone, “nice guys” often end up pleasing no one — including themselves.”
― Robert A. Glover
You’re a “Nice Guy.”
To win a woman’s heart, you always do nice things for her. You show up when she calls you.
You set aside your own agenda to make time for her. To make a woman happy, you let her walk all over you like a doormat.
Even when she is in the wrong, you’re afraid to stand up for yourself and speak what’s exactly on your mind. You’re fearful that if you did, you would upset her and she could potentially leave you. Thinking that by always doing sweet things for her such as buying her gifts, you’ll have her love forever.
Yes. It’s important to be kind to women and treat them with respect. But you’re going at it the wrong way.
What attracts the opposite sex is your personality. That’s what will keep her staying around; it’s because of your authentic character.
All the externals like money, luxurious house, or fancy cars are just extensions of who you are.
Even without all of those glorious toys, you’ll still keep her captivated and interested because she is attracted to you as a man. She realizes you’re an amazing person and is a rare gem.
On the other hand, if you do find women who want to be with you because of what you have, your best option is to run in the opposite direction.
Take a moment and think about it.
Would you want a woman who only likes you for what you have?
What will she do if one day you lost everything?
What are the chances she will still want to be with you?
You don’t understand how male and female attraction works nor about the psychology of the opposite sex.
A men’s coach will help you to be your best self. In return, you authentically attract women who are like you.
By learning how to be 100% unapologetic, you state your true intention with women. You’ll view “rejection” as a filtering process in choosing a woman who is compatible with you.
You’ll experience more love and intimacy with your definition of a high-quality woman.
7. You Didn’t Have Strong Male Role Models Growing Up
“Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness; but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.”
Growing up, you looked up to other men such as your father, uncles, grandfathers, and those on television. But despite learning many invaluable lessons from them, you still lack the true definition of what being a strong masculine man means.
Because of the wrongful representation of men in the media from recent history, the word masculinity has a negative connotation.
This is not to blame your dad or anyone else; they did their best raising you with what they had.
As for men on television, you’re bombarded with poor role models such as Homer Simpson. He doesn’t portray the characteristics of a responsible father or a loving husband.
In the school system, most of your teachers were women (76% of public schools were female). Through osmosis, you learned the definition of being a man from their perspective.
But what boys need to grow into autonomous and responsible men is the mentorship of another man.
For example, in terms of attracting a woman, what women say they want and what they actually respond to is completely different. Most women will tell you they want a man who is nice. However, the men who they date are rarely seen as kind.
It’s true they want someone who is friendly because they don’t want to be treated poorly. But they also desire a man who has an edge for adventure and excitement.
There’s a lot more that goes into the attraction of masculinity and femininity. But simply put, you must be a man of value.
Having a men’s coach will accelerate your progress of becoming a strong masculine man. You’ll escape the victim mentality by learning to take full responsibility for your life. You’ll learn to accept your past and current circumstances and using it to your advantage.
Moving forward, you take your life into your own hands and create endless opportunities for yourself.
8. You’re Afraid to Ask For Help
“What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful”
― Brené Brown
As men, we are taught at a young age to be strong regardless of what might be happening to us. Despite the countless hardships, we cannot show any signs of weakness.
Even if we’re bleeding, we cannot shed any tears.
Because of the long years of social conditioning, we have been trained to suppress our emotions. But the truth is this:
We as men are also humans who have feelings.
Instead of holding in our sentiments, we can healthily process them by expressing our deepest thoughts. This means showing your emotions when necessary.
By demonstrating vulnerability, you are portraying true strength. By lowering your guard, you’re open to attacks and criticism. By doing so, you’re essentially saying this:
“I am comfortable with myself and my own feelings that I’m okay to external strikes.”
And asking for help is also a sign of power. By admitting you don’t have all the answers and you can’t do it all by yourself demonstrates manliness. By exhibiting vulnerability, you’re indicating relatability, humanness, and genuineness.
This is the pinnacle trait of a strong masculine man.
Every successful man in the world had help along his way. They have a team of people who advise and help them to get to where they are now. No one attained true success without the support of another person.
To think you’re any different would be unwise. You must also be willing to ask for help in times of need such as hiring a men’s coach.
9. You Don’t Invest in Yourself
“The most important investment you can make is in yourself.”
― Warren Buffett
The best investment you can make is always in yourself.
Up to this point, you’ve invested in yourself in the form of formal education. Your educational career started in kindergarten all the way to college, and perhaps even professional institution.
The path to knowledge never stops. In addition, your education truly starts after graduation.
The real-world wisdom comes after you finish school. Those practical skills are what will allow you to achieve your goals and deepest desires.
To get what you want, you must become the man who deserves those outcomes. This means going out and earning them.
By investing in yourself, you learn the necessary skills and knowledge to become the person who can acquire those positive results.
This includes the following:
Listening to podcasts
Attending workshops and seminars
Working with mentors and coaches
Learning from others allows you the ability to shorten your learning curve and achieve your goals faster and easier.
You will increase your chance of success by avoiding mistakes you would otherwise make if you hadn’t discovered others’ common pitfalls.
Although achieving goals is great. What truly matters is the man you’re becoming. By improving yourself, you can better serve the world, which encompasses the people you care about such as:
As you increase your human capital, you can add more value to the world.
10. You Procrastinate and Put Off Things Your Heart Truly Desires
“The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”
― Steven Pressfield
Despite knowing what you want in life, you make excuses as to why you can’t achieve your goals.
You tell yourself things such as:
“I’m not worthy enough to do [fill in the blank].”
“Who am I to deserve that?”
“I don’t have the credentials to do that!”
Understand that your self-limiting beliefs are there to protect you from getting hurt. That pain comes in many forms such as:
The fear is real because you have bought into the stories you have told yourself countless times.
Perhaps you’re afraid of failure.
Or yet, you’re scared of success. Because by achieving what you set out to do, you will start to challenge other beliefs you may have.
You will begin to think that you’ve been holding back all your life. Activities you once thought were impossible, you now have the courage to try.
This can shatter your perception of reality and your entire world can come crumbling down.
Then there’s the other end of the spectrum, the fear of uncertainty and the unknown.
We as humans like comfort because it’s safe. Our first priority in life is survival. We want to live for as long as possible.
For example, if you were starved for a few days, the only thing that would be on your mind is where to find your next meal. You wouldn’t be thinking about any minuscule and trivial problems you might have.
In order to protect yourself from suffering, you procrastinate on your goals. In an unhealthy way, you secretly like it. To delay your progress, you seek distractions such as:
Spending time on social media
Playing video games
These frivolous acts provide immediate dopamine hits that numb your sense of self. You may feel great at the moment, but shortly afterward, you feel unfulfilled and dissatisfied.
What truly will bring joy and enlivenment is doing the very thing your heart truly desires.
That’s where fulfillment is found. It’s by committing to a worthy cause you think is meaningful.
It’s not easy, but it’s rewarding.
A men’s coach will hold you accountable for the things you say you will do. If you don’t do them, there will be consequences such as harsher goals for next time.
By having the added incentive, you’ll kill procrastination and live with integrity. You’ll back up your words with actions.
As a result, you’ll feel truly satisfied because you’re growing and becoming the man you have always wanted to be.
Your Personalized Men’s Coach
A men’s coach is the following:
He is a student of life and does not know all the answers to everything. However, he can help you dig deep and discover the solutions to your biggest challenges. Providing a safe environment for vulnerability, he will ask you difficult questions to pinpoint your darkest fears and loving desires.
He understands and relates to the unique struggles you’re experiencing. He either has been in similar situations or has helped other men who have conquered those obstacles.
He will accelerate your results by holding you accountable to the personalized action plan you two have created. By following through with the exercises, you can overcome your hardships to become a better man and achieve your desired outcomes.
He will call you out on your excuses and cut through the B.S. story you’re constantly telling yourself. He will challenge you in extreme ways to unlock your fullest potential.
A men’s coach is also on his own personal development journey, but just a few steps ahead of you. With his valuable knowledge and wisdom, he can help you see what you initially can’t.
With that said, he will NOT do the work for you. You must put in the effort to achieve your desired results. He is only there to support and guide you through the process.
Just like all the great athletes in the world, they must get in the arena and perform the tasks that are asked of them. And the coaches are on the sideline supporting them.
Benefits of Men’s Coaching
Working with a men’s coach, you will have the following positive impacts:
Grounded in your deep sense of purpose, you’ll experience life with more meaning and happiness.
You’ll achieve your desired outcomes faster by having undeniable accountability and avoiding potential pitfalls and common mistakes.
After having empowering and invigorating conversations with your coach, you’ll destroy procrastination by taking massive action towards your specific goals.
After completing what you thought was impossible before, you’ll develop a new and empowering belief system.
The goal of having a men’s coach is to help you break through your current challenges and get you where you want to be.
More importantly, he will guide you to become the man you wish to be. As a result, you’ll become more self-sufficient and self-reliant.
That’s the purpose of the coaching program – to mold you into a man who:
Lives with a deep sense of purpose
Acts courageously and goes after what he wants in life
Remains calm and composed in the face of adversities and challenges
“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.”
― Tony Robbins
As a man, you’re not defined by your thoughts or words, but rather by your actions.
Your present and future are in your complete control.
How you choose to live today, tomorrow and beyond is entirely up to you.
You have two options:
You can continue to live the average life with mediocre results in your health, wealth, relationships, and personal growth;
2. You can invest in yourself and make a permanent lifestyle change to experience life fully!
What path will you choose?
If you’re interested in exploring the possibility of having a men’s coach by your side, please check out our coaching program here.
I am on a mission to help as many people as I can. But I cannot do that without your help. Therefore, if you have a moment, please share this article with anyone who you may think will find it valuable and helpful.
Thank you very much! I greatly appreciate it!
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