“The urge to find the real facts is destructive only to people or systems (friendships, family dynamics, political dynasties) that are based on lies. The truth can scare you half to death, but it’s never as destructive as deception.”
― Martha Beck
Find Your True Self
In the past, I used to believe everyone had the same line of thinking.
My “everybody” consisted of the following:
Formal Education System
Before becoming an adult, I spent 18 years of care and supervision under my parents. Hence, it’s not surprising they were my biggest impact.
Their beliefs and way of thinking naturally became mine simply through osmosis. They were by far the strongest influence I’ve had in my adolescence.
Next in line were my friends, teachers, and the media culture.
What they projected inherently cascaded onto me.
Conforming to societal expectations, I lived “safely” by not breaking any rules. Activities included:
Earning a degree
Getting a job
Making a steady income
Dating women with plans for marriage
Saving money for a nice car, big house, or fancy vacation
By doing so, I followed a scripted life. These were all things I was “supposed” to have or should be working on.
However, I didn’t stop for one second to question these wants. I simply did what I was told.
It was not only until I came to my own senses and started asking what I truly desired in life.
After going through a long journey of self-discovery, I realized what I deeply value in life.
Yes. I still want to create an income, but not working for a company that will compromise my health, relationships, and/or personal growth.
I want to have the freedom to be able to work from anywhere and anytime.
As for my romantic relationship, I definitely want to have an amazing woman in my life.
Lastly, owning any extravagant things such as a big house is not important to me. That’s because I enjoy the freedom to move around and be location-independent.
In addition, I would like to minimize my option of owning things whenever possible.
Even though I had identified my desires, I was afraid to live them out.
It was due to the years and years of social programming from my “everybody.” Believing that I know how they would react, I was afraid they won’t approve of my change in life’s direction.
The thought of them rejecting me halted me in my track.
But after completing a series of mental exercises to determine who my “everybody” was, I just came to this understanding:
This “everybody” was just a mere projection I have made for myself.
They only consisted of a selected few. They (parents, friends, etc.) didn’t resemble the thoughts and beliefs of the majority.
After discovering this truth, I was able to recognize the people who genuinely encourage me regardless of how I choose to live my life.
By surrounding myself with those who see me as I really am, I can march forward with confidence knowing I have their unconditional support.
Not Everyone Will Like You
Your current “everybody” is probably a list of those who either:
1. Love you (family, friends, etc.)
2. Hate you (your elementary bully, unprofessional colleague, etc.)
These are people who you unconsciously hand your life over to. They have an immense amount of control on you.
It’s not your fault though.
Your natural reaction is due to the long period of social conditioning:
To be accepted
To avoid danger
To conform to societal rules
However, when you think about venturing out and taking a new direction in life, all those thoughts from your “everybody” start flooding in.
The fear of rejection plays a major role.
You’re afraid of being an outcast and risk being kicked out of your:
Circle of friends
But the cold hard truth is this:
No matter who you are or what you do, not everyone will like you.
You cannot please everybody.
That’s because everyone (including yourself) has his or her own unique preferences – likes and dislikes.
Understanding this fact of life will save you a lot of time and energy.
You won’t go out of your way trying to meet others’ expectations in efforts to win their approval and/or acceptance.
Even if you wholeheartedly believe in what you’re doing is beneficial for the world, there will inevitably be people who won’t like or respect it. In some cases, they may even try to cause harm to you and/or damage your reputation.
That’s perfectly fine. Don’t waste your efforts on them.
Those who are truly content with themselves would be too occupied living their own life, rather than to put others down.
For example, do you think highly successful people such as Tony Robbins or Elon Musk will waste their precious time on creating negative comments on blogs, podcasts, or videos?
They focus on doing important activities such as creating great work while positively impacting the world.
Therefore, spend your valuable time and exertion on those who fortify your courageous actions.
Create Your Own Supportive Tribe
After identifying your truth, you may lack bravery and guidance to take the first step.
To overcome that hurdle, you can start building a strong community.
This group of people may have the following:
Living according to their true selves
Having similar interests
Genuinely helping you grow and be your best
Most importantly, they see you as who you truly are and your fullest potential.
To seek them out, you must be proactive.
They are people who have traits and qualities you aspire to be.
For example, if you want to improve your health, who in your network is in great physical shape?
Reach out and offer to take that person to lunch. In your meetup, ask for practical ways to better your body.
People who are truly successful want to help others do the same.
However, they only want to assist those who will take their time and advice seriously. Therefore, you must follow their recommendations and suggestions.
This means executing their advice into practice and getting results.
Remember: it’s your responsibility to find more of these type of people in your life.
Soon, you’ll create your own tribe of influence that will provide you guidance and courage to create your dream life and become your best.
Make a conscious effort to spend more time with these people. Ask for help when necessary and provide support when you can.
To live your truth, you’ll need a powerful support group.
This becomes your new “everybody.”
By surrounding yourself with those see the best in you, you’ll go farther in life than you have ever in the past.
You’ll feel motivated to have like-minded people in your life who are also living their true mission.
Together, you’ll empower each other to achieve your own respective goals and dreams.
But at the same time, you don’t lose sight of the journey.
You constantly remind yourself to enjoy the process and fall in love with who you are becoming, the man you are destined to be.
I am on a mission to help as many people as I can. But I can’t do that without your help. If you have a second, please share this article with anyone who you may think will find it valuable and helpful.
Thank you very much! I greatly appreciate it!
Do you want to live with more fulfillment, courage, and equanimity in your life? Start here with your gift!