“Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones.”
― Benjamin Franklin
The Intimacy Killer
Do you like to watch porn?
Have you used porn as a way to masturbate?
Do you use porn and masturbation as a tool to make yourself feel good instantly?
If so, I used to do that too. I first discovered porn when I was a freshman in college. It was also the first time I masturbated.
Ever since then, I have used porn as a way to help me masturbate for instant gratification.
It was my sweet escape from the real world. I was able to watch any woman who I wanted to have sex with as I masturbated.
The more I watched porn, the more expansive my taste in porn became. I would often find myself searching for new genres of porn and exotic sex scenes in order for me to ejaculate.
Porn and masturbation went hand in hand (no pun intended) because I was never able to masturbate without porn.
I even bought a sex toy (fleshlight) because I wanted a different feeling than that of masturbating with my hands.
Although I felt great and relaxed immediately after ejaculation, I felt physically and emotionally enervated.
There was also a sense of dissatisfaction because of my inability to have mind-blowing sex with real women, the type of sex that I saw in porn.
Sometimes I would even masturbate and ejaculate to pictures of celebrities or women that I knew personally. Worst yet, I would sometimes watch porn and masturbate simply out of boredom!
I saw myself as a failure in life and those were some of my darkest times as I felt deeply ashamed and disappointed.
No one knew about this because everything seemed fine on the surface. Porn was not a subject that I would openly discuss with my other male friends.
We didn’t feel comfortable talking about it, but we all knew everyone was secretly masturbating to porn.
It was “normal” even though it was not discussed in normal conversations.
Deep down, I knew it wasn’t normal because of all the negative feelings (guilt, shame, disappointment, and dissatisfaction) that I felt afterward.
That’s when I started digging into the effects that porn has on men. The findings were shocking yet plausible.
But to fully believe the benefits, I had to experience them myself by completely removing porn and masturbation from my life.
Initially, reducing from three to four times a week to just once a week was a constant struggle.
But with strong determination and encouraging results, I was able to achieve it.
Slowly, once a week became once every two weeks. Eventually, I was able to completely remove it from my life.
After reaping the benefits, I never looked back. Some of my benefits were having:
- More time and energy for intentional and productive activities
- Deeper levels of intimacy and emotional connection with women
- Greater levels of enjoyment from life’s simplest pleasures
- More life fulfillment by experiencing life instead of living vicariously through others
I was a brand new man as I found a new zest for life! My sexual energy was always full which allowed me to pursue my definition of success.
Instead of watching other people having “fake” sex onscreen, I was out in the world living my life and creating opportunities for myself.
I was eager to take action, live, and create unforgettable memories.
Just like the news media, pornography is a business. Most of its revenue comes from advertisements.
Why do you think there are so many pop-ups ads on free porn sites?
That’s because the more eyeballs they get, the more money they generate.
Did you know pornography is a $97 billion dollar industry with $14 billion coming from the United States?[1]
That is more than the revenue from the three major sports National Football League, Major League Baseball, and National Basketball Association combined!
Internet porn alone produces $3 Billion per year.[2]
Here are some more shocking statistics.
Of all Internet traffic, 30% are porn-related and 25% of all online searches are related to porn!
In 2015, the website PornHub recorded 21.2 billion page visits and 4.4 billion hours spent watching porn![3]
That is two and a half times longer than Homo Sapiens have lived on Earth! This is not to mention other free porn websites.
On the surface, porn and masturbation may seem perfectly “normal” as most men do it.
But do you know the negative effects that porn and masturbation have on your body and brain?
Let’s dive into some of the problems that porn and masturbation can cause.
1. Desensitization to Life’s Pleasures
Every time you do something that makes you feel good, the brain releases a chemical called dopamine.
This chemical allows you to experience pleasure in life, so it’s not surprising that sex releases dopamine.
But how does this apply to porn and masturbation?
When you watch porn and masturbate, the brain thinks you’re having real sex.
The brain can’t differentiate the difference between what you watch and real sex. It’s the same reason you would feel afraid when you watch a horror scene from a scary movie.
The danger of masturbation from porn is its excessive dopamine release compared to that of real sex.
When you watch porn, you can easily watch multiple sex scenes at a moment’s notice.
You can also get access to many sex scenes with as many beautiful women as you want with your ideal image of the perfect female body.
How much more dopamine is released in that scenario compared to having sex with just one woman?
When you ejaculate from porn and masturbation, your brain thinks it’s from sex with real women so it will encourage you to keep looking for ways to have similar or better experiences. The brain is hardwired for procreation because that is how humans have survived for millions of years.
But the scariest part of all is that your level of dopamine tolerance will increase over time with the exposure to endless porn on the Internet.
This explains why you might have erectile dysfunction when you’re perfectly healthy for sex.
Your level of dopamine tolerance is so high that having sex with one woman doesn’t live up to your level of satisfaction or expectation portrayed in porn.
Now you understand how porn and masturbation can desensitize you from experiencing life’s pleasures.
It’s because of the excessive amount of dopamine release that has overwhelmed the neuron receptors to handle them all at once.
You can think of it as trying to shoot five basketballs into one basket hoop simultaneously.
Over a long period of time, the dopamine receptors become less receptive to the dopamine stimulus.
Simple pleasures will no longer bring you joy because they can’t produce enough dopamine.
2. False Sense of Reality
You use porn to escape worries and gain pleasures that you can’t obtain in life.
Most of the sex scenes shown in porn aren’t real because they’re catered towards men.
Scenes usually involve sexual foreplay pleasuring the man and seldom include acts pleasuring the woman.
These scenes go straight to sexual penetration and end with the typical “money shot” when the man ejaculates on the woman’s face.
The more you’re exposed to these scenes, the more you want to carry out these sexual activities with women.
Porn teaches you to be amoral, apathetic, heartless, and even the entitlement of using women as a way to pleasure yourself.
If you’re in a relationship, then your woman is unlikely to live up to the unrealistic expectations that you have developed over the years by watching porn.
What you see in porn is not real.
But after years and years of exposure to porn, you have been conditioned to believe that’s what sex is like and that’s what women enjoy.
You have distorted your sense of reality!
But the truth is that some women don’t like giving blowjobs and most women don’t want cum on their faces.
You get frustrated or even angry with your partner when she doesn’t do the sexual acts that you think she enjoys.
This could cause the woman to think that she is the problem and that there’s something wrong with her.
To meet your satisfaction, porn and masturbation slowly become a habit or daily ritual.
Soon it will completely replace the role of your partner.
Because of the incorrect information from porn, you’re clueless about how women function sexually.
Do you know what is the most sensitive part of a woman’s body?
The answer is her brain.
Women get sexually aroused through emotions by the way you make them feel.
Women take a longer time to be sexually aroused than you do.
That’s because men can get sexually aroused instantly like a light switch while women are slowly turned on like a volume knob.
To get her excited, you can take your time to warm her up by pleasuring her with foreplay, which starts way before the bedroom.
You can send her a quick thoughtful and sexy message to make her feel beautiful and wanted on the morning of the day that you’re planning to see her.
Don’t be stuck in your own head and only be concerned about pleasuring yourself.
Have her best interest at heart and take the lead.
She will let you know if she is uncomfortable with anything that you’re doing.
And when in doubt, communicate and ask!
She will trust and feel safe in your presence when you treat her with love.
3. Dehumanizing Women As Sex Objects
Aggression towards women and loss of respect for their sexual autonomy will be the result of prolonged porn exposure.
As a result, you will start to view women as sex objects instead of human beings.
Sexual fantasies will arise with every attractive woman you see.
Some examples of simple things and activities that can trigger those sexual thoughts may include the following:
- High heels
- Yoga pants
- Cheerleader outfits
- A woman bending over
With the emphasis on body size, shape, and hip-to-weight ratio, you will start to objectify women by strictly thinking about having sex with them.
Because of your unhealthy views of women from watching porn, those behaviors will manifest themselves in your interactions with women and will destroy any chance of deep emotional connection.
4. Low-Quality Sleep
Most of the porn traffic occurs from 10 PM to 12 AM according to the website PornHub.
And that’s the time when your body produces melatonin, a hormone responsible for controlling sleep and wake cycles (circadian rhythm).
As you now know, the body releases the “feel good” chemical called dopamine during masturbation and sex.
Because of this, you feel excited, alert, and awake.
This is the opposite of what you want when you are preparing for sleep. After masturbation, you may feel relaxed and fall asleep after climaxing, but it’s a restless type of sleep.
Because of the dopamine release, it causes the body to produce melatonin later in the night.
Therefore, you may have feelings of grogginess, brain fog, and lethargy because of residual melatonin in the body when you wake up even though you have slept for an adequate amount of time.
From a performance standpoint, the best time for sex is in the morning when you wake up. That’s when cortisol levels are high while melatonin levels are low.
Cortisol is the stress hormone that wakes the body up and melatonin is the hormone that makes the body fall asleep.
5. Porn Can Be a Dangerous Addiction
An addiction is when an activity becomes compulsive, or difficult to control, despite harmful consequences.
You watch porn because it causes your brains to release dopamine that make you feel euphoric, just like cocaine or heroin.
Similar to drugs that release dopamine, porn and masturbation also rewire the brain.
But what makes porn more dangerous than any other drug is the three A’s.
- Affordability
- Accessibility
- Anonymity
For most addictions such as drugs and alcohol, affordability is usually the biggest barrier.
But this is not true for porn since it’s free!
Porn also doesn’t have barriers for the second and third criteria because it is accessible anywhere with handheld electronic devices and no one will ever know!
With handheld devices, it’s easier than ever before to watch porn.
Did you know 60% of Pornhub’s US traffic is through a smartphone or tablet?
When addictions escalate, what once worked before will no longer be true.
Just like a heroin addict needs to increase the frequency and drug dosage to have the same dopamine effect, a porn addict behaves the same way.
What you first found was sexually arousing is not true the more you watch porn.
For you to reach the same dopamine release to ejaculate, you have to watch new scenes and types of porn.
Have you found yourself slowly expanding your porn search to ejaculate?
Closing Thoughts
Despite the negative effects that porn and masturbation have on the body and mind, the process is reversible by first reducing then completely eliminating porn use.
Start off with small changes to make the process more achievable and realistic.
Experiment and see what benefits you get.
The act of masturbation is not inherently unhealthy for you.
There is evidence that it is healthy for the body to ejaculate once every 90 days to prevent prostate cancer.[4]
But since it is a bodily function, your body will take care of itself even if you haven’t ejaculated in a while.
Have you ever woken up with morning wood and some bodily fluids?
This won’t be the case if you’re constantly emptying your sexual energy with masturbation.
It all has to do with your intention behind the act.
Ask yourself:
- “Can I masturbate without porn?”
- “Am I masturbating just to ejaculate because I haven’t in a long time?”
- “How do I truly feel after I masturbate?”
If you honestly feel great and proud of yourself for your accomplishment, keep it up.
But if you don’t, then it’s time to learn and cultivate self-discipline.
Tap into your sexual energy and use it to penetrate the world by creating a great life for yourself.
- Instead of relying on porn and masturbation, how about you take charge of your life so you can have sex with real women that you have deep emotional connections?
- Instead of satisfying yourself using instant gratification, how about you start investing in yourself by going out and meeting women?
- How about you start working on yourself by improving your social skills to attract and keep your definition of a high-quality woman?
- How empowering is it to be able to build meaningful and loving connections with the woman you choose?
Be a leader and take control of your life.
Just like any other skill, getting better with women requires practice and time.
You won’t have to settle for anything less than you deserve.
Make the smart choice because time will pass by regardless of how you spend it.
You can become a powerful and charismatic man who can connect with women on a deep and emotional level or you can continue to masturbate to porn.
The choice is entirely up to you.
I am on a mission to help 1,000,000 people, but I can’t do that without your help. Please share this article with anyone who you may think will find it valuable and helpful. Thank you very much! I greatly appreciate it!
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Footnote references:
[1]Edward Helmore, Home porn gives industry the blues, guardian.co.uk, 16 December 2007.
[2]“Covenant Eyes.” Porn Stats Covenant Eyes The Leaders in Accountability Software. N.p., n.d. Web.
[3]Anderson, Cass. “You Won’t F’n Believe How Many People Watched Internet Porn In 2015…Seriously, These Numbers Are INSANE.” BroBible. N.p., 06 Jan. 2016. Web.
[4]“Ejaculation: How Often for Good Health?” Ejaculation: How Often for Good Health? Your Brain On Porn. N.p., n.d. Web.
