“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”
– Maya Angelou
Revisit Your Definition of Success
After starting every new job, I had to create a different routine and habits.
Because there were many moving parts in my professional and personal life, I sometimes found myself overwhelmed and got into a slump.
In addition to the occupation, my social life experienced some hiccups. Constantly expanding my social capital, I met new people on a regular basis. And occasionally, there were people who lacked integrity.
These people said what was nice to hear but were incongruent with their actions.
For example, some said, “Let’s be friends.” And when I followed up with them via text message, they did not respond.
In essence, these people’s words and actions were unaligned.
As for experiencing any difficult times, I reached out for support from my close friends in sharing my situation.
This is my outlet to get help and release any emotional burden I may have. Additionally, I took time to self-reflect and revisit my definition of success – growth based on my effort independent of any specific outcome.
That’s because everything outside of me can only add to my level of happiness.
Realizing anything external is simply a bonus, I shifted my focus to myself and rejuvenated the following areas:
- Health – eating only real food, intermittent fasting, regular exercise, and meditation
- Relationships – spending time with family and loving friends
- Wealth – acquiring new skills while consistently writing and creating
- Personal growth – reading books of interest, learning a new language, hiking/backpacking, practicing yoga, cycling, and rock climbing
As I live an active and vibrant life, I naturally meet people along the way. And if I find them interesting, I can start a conversation with them.
As for a romantic partner, I view her as a bonus, hence I am fulfilled with or without her.
But knowing the value that a compatible woman can add to my life, I continue to search for my Queen.
And embodying the abundance mindset, I know there are multiple women who I am compatible with.
The challenge is that I haven’t met her yet.
To endure the journey, I remind myself daily to trust life, the process, and most importantly, trust in myself (and her) that when the time is right, our paths will cross.
And when that time comes, we will be excited and happy to have each other.
Practice Impeccable Integrity
Stating your truth requires courage. Because of this, most would say what others want to hear rather than speak their truth.
For example, you coincidentally ran into someone who you haven’t seen in a while, and before going separate ways, you said “Hey, it was nice seeing you. Let’s catch up soon.”
And months go by and you didn’t reach out to that person to make meet-up plans, then you are out of integrity.
That’s because you didn’t follow through with what you said.
If you truly didn’t mean that, don’t say it.
No one is forcing you to do it.
You can simply have said, “Hey, it was nice seeing you.” And go on with your day.
It takes bravery to be honest and transparent.
If you fully accept yourself, you won’t let others’ feelings, thoughts, or reactions affect you.
That’s because you are independent of their behaviors.
They don’t validate you, because you have already given yourself that approval.
Focus On Intrinsic Qualities
What we have in the external world are mere extensions of our authentic character.
They are simply expressions of who we are.
Most men numb themselves with instant gratification such as the following:
- Drugs
- Alcohol
- Sex
- Porn and masturbation
- Gambling
- Television
In other inconspicuous ways, even excessive amounts of work and/or exercise can be a form of escape.
It comes down to this question:
“Am I doing this to run away from what I truly need and want to do or face?”
By acting on your deepest desires, you gain confidence and trust in yourself knowing you have the courage to go after your authentic desires despite fear.
Growth is inevitable as that is the real prize – becoming more of who you want to be.
And when you grow, everything else follows suit.
This requires discipline for consistency.
And during this process, you will also acquire the intrinsic traits to stay grounded in the midst of chaos.
Because deep down, you know you can rebuild everything back up if you were to lose everything you have now.
That is a deep belief you have created on your journey due to the numerous skills you have gained over the years through working on yourself. This mindset will amplify, and your abilities will expand as you continue to move through resistance and further develop yourself.
Closing Thoughts
It takes courage to act in spite of fear and discomfort.
But it is in those moments that growth happens. This is when you carry out your heart’s desires.
This doesn’t mean you have to be uncomfortable 24/7. Rather, it might just be a few seconds or minutes during your day.
When the situation involves others, you can treat them with respect and their boundaries while making the most self-honor choice.
If the other party is not receptive, then it’s time to question the relationship and decide if you two are a great fit.
You can choose to stay grounded and take a stand for yourself. Doing what makes you uncomfortable or scares you will make you evolve. As a result, you move forward.
In the future reflecting back, you’ll be grateful you took the necessary and courageous actions to help you get to where you will be then.
I am on a mission to help 1,000,000 people, but I can’t do that without your help. Please share this article with anyone who you may think will find it valuable and helpful. Thank you very much! I greatly appreciate it!
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