“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”
– Napoleon Hill
Grow Through Adversities and Struggles
To appreciate the natural beauties of life, I go on regular hikes in nature. While walking on the trails, I enjoy the majestic scenery all around me.
This simple activity replenishes my connection with mother Earth and gives me life.
It is my gateway to connecting deeper with my feminine energy.
And during the spring and summer seasons, I see one of mother nature’s magnificent creations – the butterfly with its large angelic wings and vibrant colors.
To reach this spectacular state, it had to undergo an enduring journey of metaphormosis that includes the following four stages:
- Eggs – laid by female butterflies
- Larvas (caterpillars) – hatched from eggs can now feed, grow, and store energy for later use
- Pupa (chrysalis) – growth stage ranging from a few weeks to years that takes place in a cocoon protected with silk and suspended under a branch, buried underground or hidden in leaves
- Adult (butterflies) – with splendid large and colorful wings, long legs and antennae, and compound eyes
Each step is critical during their transformation, especially during the pupa stage, where many activities happen behind the scenes.
Harnessing the energy gathered during the larva stage, these caterpillars are growing rapidly, turning special cells into eyes, legs, and other parts of the adult butterfly.
Others Need to Fight For Their Own Battles
As a caring man, you want to help others who are in pain. But by doing so, you don’t help them nor yourself.
Let’s use the butterfly example described above.
During the pupa stage, the caterpillar is struggling immensely.
Upon knowing this, one’s loving tendency may desire to assist it.
But if that is done, the butterfly is harmed in the long run because it doesn’t gain the necessary strength to fight its own battles, and could lead to immature development and eventual death.
It is only through overcoming adversity on their own can they become glorious and thriving butterflies.
By conquering difficult challenges, we gain invaluable benefits such as the following:
- Mental fortitude
- New perspective
- Perseverance
- Resilience
- Appreciation
This enables us to increase our capacity to deal with life’s inevitable hardships.
Make the Most Self-Loving and Honoring Choice
As a supportive friend or partner, you are only able to open doors for others. This may include the following:
- Giving them a book on personal development
- Listening together to that insightful podcast episode during the car ride
- Sending them that impactful article
- Watching together that transformative TED talk
And the most effective way is to lead by example – embodying your message and letting them see the positive changes.
It is futile in trying to force others to embark on the journey.
That’s because you cannot help them unless they truly want that for themselves.
Only they can do that when they are fully ready.
And when that time comes, you can be their guide by teaching them how to fish, so they can learn to do that for a lifetime.
And after being spiritually awakened, they can do the following:
- Prioritizing internal healing
- Overcoming past trauma
- Taking full responsibility for their life
- Not seeking external things or people to fulfill them
- Being present
- Responding rather than reacting
Because by going into over responsibility in trying to save others, you are being their emotional crutch. This results in a codependent relationship that does not establish individual autonomy or independence.
And when it is clearly not working, ask yourself these difficult questions.
- “Are we able to grow together?”
- “Do I feel empowered to be with this person?”
- “Am I being met in this relationship?”
With brutal honesty, your heart knows the answers. And going separate ways is the best choice for both of you.
On the surface, it can seem as unloving and even cruel. But underneath, that is the most loving and honoring you can make for you two.
Because you realize there is nothing else you can do, as they must now learn the necessary lessons on their own.
Closing Thoughts
It can be difficult to make decisions in the midst of a struggle. But taking a step back and viewing it objectively without any emotional attachment can give you clarity.
This is similar to giving advice to a friend.
Viewing it from the outside, you can clearly see your friend’s pain and blind spots.
By not being too close to the situation, you are not entangled with emotions and can see the experience objectively and give sound guidance.
“What advice would I give?”
Now, implement the difficult part and apply your own recommendation to your life.
Through doing this, you will start being your own best friend and greatest ally.
And learning to be a student of life and as your own teacher/coach at the same time will empower you to make the most loving and self-honoring choices.
I am on a mission to help 1,000,000 people, but I can’t do that without your help. Please share this article with anyone who you may think will find it valuable and helpful. Thank you very much! I greatly appreciate it!
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