Discover Your Needs and Desires So You Can Set Clear Boundaries with Others

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“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.”

― Socrates

Honor and Respect Yourself

When I went on my discovery journey to learn more about myself, I took what I learned from college and applied it to my life.

Trained as an engineer, I designed experiments with different scenarios to test various outcomes.

To determine the optimal condition, I examined numerous parameters in a randomized order.

And as I learned more about myself, I realized that I want to grow continuously and become my best.

Knowing what I needed to be my best was the first step, and taking the necessary steps was the second. 

As an introvert, I require space and time to recharge and reflect since socializing with others can drain my energy.

man lying on hammock beside treesBy setting boundaries and communicating with others about my needs, I said “no” to activities that pull me away from what I truly desire. As a result, I have more time and energy to focus on myself and my needs and wants.

Identity Your Own Needs and Wants

Discovering your deepest self and desires takes curiosity, practice, space, and silence. You must remove all distractions and be with yourself in silence. Then ask yourself these questions.

  • How do I feel about being around others?”
  • “Do I value my alone time?”
  • “What am I trying to achieve with my goals?”
  • “Why am I doing them?”
  • “What are my boundaries?”
  • “What do I allow into my life?”
  • “What can I not tolerate?”
  • “What matters most to me?”

Answering these questions will start giving you more clarity about yourself and your values.

This is a process and can change with time. Additionally, you can be intentional and design experiments to determine your preferences.

man holding book in the ricefieldIt’s about living life purposefully and knowing more about yourself through experience.

Create Boundaries With Others

Once you’ve identified your desires and dislikes, you can now communicate them with others.

It is setting clear expectations of what is acceptable to you. For example, valuing your time, you may ask others to be punctual when you have a scheduled call or event.

And if you value trust, you could request others to keep certain information you share with them confidential.

Or if you value integrity and commitment, you would ask others to keep their word which means to do what they say.

silhouette of man and woman sitting on ottomanAnd if they can’t meet them, then you can have a conversation with them if it is worthwhile. Otherwise, it is best to move on because of incompatibility.

By setting your boundaries early on, you can let others know where you stand. This eliminates any hidden contract or agenda.

Closing Thoughts

Knowing yourself is critical to living a fulfilled and meaningful life uniquely yours.

And it can be a lifelong process with continuous discoveries about your desires and values.

Although circumstances may change, you are guided by your inner compass of what is most important to you.

It is your deep sense of knowing that steers your life with loving actions that are aligned with your core values.

person standing on rock platformIn the rare times of perplexion, you can ask yourself:

“What do I truly want?”

The answer will lead you to where you need to go and you must honor it with love.

I am on a mission to help 1,000,000 people, and I can’t do that without your help. Please share this article with anyone who you may think will find it valuable and helpful. Thank you very much! I greatly appreciate it!

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