“Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.”
― Gary Chapman
Identify Your Love Language
Based on the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, my primary love language is quality time. A close second is physical touch. (You can determine your love language by taking the short quiz here.)
After figuring out my love language, I understand I feel loved when others spend quality time with me. This also allows me to let others know what I value in our relationship.
This is especially important for my connection with my significant other.
By knowing my love language, she can dedicate time in her schedule for our meetups. Appreciating our relationship, she makes it a priority to participate in romantic activities with me. That’s because she realizes doing things together makes me feel appreciated.
The opposite is also true.
By identifying my partner’s primary love language, I can show her my affection by doing things that make she feel loved.
The Five Love Languages
Everyone has his or her unique love language, which is one of following:
- Gift giving: examples include giving jewelry, clothing, or special occasion cards.
- Quality time: this may consist of spending time together such as watching movies or walking in the park.
- Words of affirmation: these are verbal expressions of how much you appreciate your partner such as “I like the way you hug me” or “I enjoy the warm sensations when we hold hands.”
- Acts of service: the purpose behind this is to make your partner’s life more comfortable. Examples may be doing laundry and cleaning the kitchen, or helping her with the grocery shopping.
- Physical touch: your woman wants your affection beyond words. You can caress, kiss, or hold her to show your love for her.
Benefits in Romantic and Platonic Relationships
After knowing what makes you feel loved, you can have a more affectionate romantic relationship with your significant other.
Although not essential, it’s better for both of you to speak the same love language. The reason is simple: you both won’t have to consciously express different methods to make each other feel adored.
Both of you feel loved the same way.
You won’t have to remind yourself to accommodate for her intimate line of communication.
However, you can still have a thriving romantic relationship with your partner even if you two don’t speak the same love language. To have a strong and loving connection, you must continually make a deliberate effort to express affection for her by speaking her love language.
As for personal and professional relationships, you can further deepen those connections the same way.
Of course, your intentions are different because it’s strictly platonic.
For example, if you know one of your close friend Mike’s love language is gift giving, you can show him your appreciation by buying him a present (birthday card, movie tickets, etc.) for his birthday.
Instead, if he values quality time, then you can have dinner with him on his special day.
As a result of catering towards others, you make them feel appreciated. Hence, you strengthen the relationships with those people.
Identifying your love language as well as those who are important to you is crucial to having loving and powerful relationships.
By leveraging this simple insight, you will separate yourself from others in their network.
The benefits of expressing love through others’ love language are clear.
- You will have more love in your romantic relationship.
- In the professional world, you’ll experience more success with more opportunities because people will like you more.
- As for your personal relationships, you’ll create more meaningful and significant connections.
Please share this article with anyone who you think may find it valuable.
If you have any questions and/or comments on the five love languages, please leave a comment below or send me an email.
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