“When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place.”
― Winston Churchill
Prioritize on Your Own Needs and Wants
In my late teens and early twenties, I cared tremendously about what others thought of me.
Their opinions overruled my own which greatly affected my behavior, and this resulted in doing what was expected of me so I could be liked and fit in.
Examples included the following:
- Pursuing society’s definition of success
- Going the extra mile to do favors for others at the expense of my own wellbeing
- Behaving unauthentically to suppress my feelings and emotions
The catalyst for the paradigm shift was learning to kill the “nice guy” within me so I could truly express my authentic self and prioritize myself.
This involved assiduously working on myself to become my best.
And to create my unique beliefs and values, I explored my own needs and wants by asking myself the following:
- “What is important to me?”
- “How do I want to live my life?”
Through following my curiosity and gaining real-life experiences, I formulated my definition of success.
Most People are Only Concerned About Themselves
In modern society, most people are glued to their smartphones.
This is a result of an addition designed by the creators and also a form of escape from themselves.
Uncomfortable being alone in silence, others preoccupy themselves with distractions and entertainment.
Because of this habit, they are immersed in their own lives.
Therefore, they are too busy worrying about themselves to care about what others are doing.
Realizing this can allow you the freedom to focus on yourself and those who truly care about you.
This means the following:
- Doing your best and letting go of unnecessary activities so you can focus on what truly matters
- Focus your time and effort on investing in meaningful relationships
Don’t Live In Others’ Shoes
To create awareness for those close to you, ask yourself:
- “Am I causing physical or emotional harm to those around me?”
- “Am I carrying their baggage?”
Although you are accountable for your actions and words, you are not responsible for others’ feelings, reactions, and responses.
That’s because just like you, they are also in complete control of their own behaviors.
Their childhood upbringing dictates how they see the world through their unique lens.
To empathize with their perspective, you can put yourself in their shoes. However, do not live in them and make their beliefs yours.
Realize this:
You can’t please everyone.
And when you are creating powerful and wholesome impacts, you may receive unhelpful opinions from others.
In those times, surround yourself with those who support you and your loving mission to uplift the world.
Closing Thoughts
Most people live in their heads and are only concerned with themselves. And in moments of requests, they subconsciously ask themselves the following:
- “Why should I do this or help you?”
- “What is in it for me if I were to do this?”
Knowing that others are too focused on themselves liberates you to live your authentic life.
During this process, it is loving to be considerate of others to prevent any harm or inconvenience, and this requires awareness of how your actions and words can impact others.
While being courteous and striving for win-win situations, you are not responsible for others’ behaviors.
Ultimately, you can select who want to be in your life.
And by choosing those who are supportive, you can create your best lives together through sharing and adding value to each other.
I am on a mission to help 1,000,000 people, and I can’t do that without your help. Please share this article with anyone who you may think will find it valuable and helpful. Thank you very much! I greatly appreciate it!
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